


And then there were none

by Royaltae



Category: Free!
Genre: A teeny bit of fluff, Haru is still traumatized by /that/ incident, Light Angst, M/M, Oneshot, References to Canon, They both need a Hug, They just started dating, i kind of don't know what I'm writing emmm, lowkey word vomit, non-linear(kinda?), rinharu - Freeform, rinharu lives together, the one where Rinharu meets at the rail tracks, yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royaltae/pseuds/Royaltae
Summary: each time Haru lets his mind wander,albeit unconciously,drowned in a pool of water,it's always the memory of a certain winter that comes back to haunt him.





	And then there were none

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any grammatical mistakes ahhh but yea I recently got dragged back into the free fandom and this is my first ever Rinharu fic because I love them

  
A cold breeze seeps through the gap of the window and Haru reaches over to close it,the flame of the stove wavering a little before returning to melt the cold off his skin.

It's too early for him to be up on a weekend,cooking breakfast when he could be deep asleep within the warmth of his bed,away from the cold. But he knows he wouldn't be asleep any much longer—because it's winter and when it's winter,his mind wanders along with the ceasing autumn.

Haru slaps two pieces of mackerel onto the pan,the sizzle of the oil filling up the silence of the kitchen. And Haru pays attention to that,hoping that it would distract him enough that he wouldn't think of empty rail tracks and of the melancholic humming of air.

He flips them over when he deems them ready,hurriedly,so that not even the momentary silence where the fishes leave the touch of the pan could allow the memories come rushing back.

But alas,nothing is forever—like how the mackerels can't always be swimming in the pool of oil and above the hungry fire for they would turn to crisp. Like how the silence of the kitchen cannot be kept away any much longer than he would like,and like how Haru cannot keep the memories any more forgotten,for they will come back, _they always do_ ,like now when he's gripping onto the plate of fishes he had scooped like its his lifeline,roaring louder than ever.

Each time Haru lets his mind wander,albeit unconciously,drowned in a pool of water,it's always the memory of a certain winter that comes back to haunt him. He tries to will them away,helplessly,but it's too late. He hears footsteps thumping down the stairs heavily,but it's too late. He feels the plate in his hands trembling and he puts it down before it falls,but it's too late. Because _he's_ the one falling,once again back to that certain winter,standing by the rail tracks as a train speeds by,lifting his head up to spot a boy so familiar standing on the other side,strands of red flying around and gently caressing his pinked cheeks.

It's strangely funny,that Haru who always stares at his feet and refusing to see what the world has to offer,was the one with his face held up. Yet Rin whose eyes were always bright with stars,looking at Haru as if he was the one who had painted the sky blue—the same color as his eyes,ones that Rin _loves_ —was the one with his face downcast,as if he's afraid of the world he had shown Haru.

He hears the footsteps approaching closer and Haru keeps his eyes stubbornly trained on the silly crayon shark,tattooed onto the tiles of the kitchen wall that Rin had drew when he first moved in.

 _To mark my territory_ ,he had said with a playful smile. _A reminder that you will never get rid of me_.

And Haru had believed his words,his _promise_. He still does,but there's a tiny fear somewhere within his heart,a constant linger,that he would one day wake up to an empty and cold spot beside him and with a feeling of regret for not holding on to the warmth much longer before it's gone. Especially because he had let him run away from his grasp so many times before,always a step too many away from catching him.

"Haru," a voice calls out from behind,but he refuses to turn around. "You're up early"

He nods,eyes still on the shark when he feels an arm on his shoulder,a familiar weight he had gotten used to,and one he would like to carry with him till the very end. If Rin would allow that,that is. He hears a sigh,the warmth breath tickling his ear and finally makes a move to wriggle out of Rin's hold.

"Mackerel again?"

"You don't have to eat if you don't like it,"Haru mumbles and he hears a groan,but despite that,Rin still reaches over to grab the plate lying on the kitchen counter. Haru follows him to the kotatsu with two bowls of rice in his hand and sits across him,refusing to meet his eyes. The silence,save for the clanking of utensils,that accompanied them was not unwelcoming,but Haru sits uncomfortably and his chopsticks dances within his bowl of rice,there but not picking anything up.

His mind wanders off once again,now within the dark of the familiar swimming pool. The cold of the tiles lingers beneath his feet and the boy beside him still refuses to look at him. Even when they were standing on the starting block—the orbs that used to be alight with such an intense burning fire,now slightly extinguished and hidden behind the frame of the goggles,were staring ahead. As if they were looking at something that Haru couldn't see,or simply wasn't there. And Haru had felt scared, _so so afraid,_ that maybe he had already lost Rin. That maybe it was all too late. That it was _his_ fault for letting Rin go,for not calling him back,for n—

"Haru",Rin calls out and he snaps out of his thoughts— _his living nightmares_ —and it was the soft whisper of his voice that made Haru looked up. But Rin's not looking at him,no,he was staring far ahead,somewhere out the window,with his eyes so dazed and so eerily _similar_ to the ones that Haru was so afraid of,that before he could even process anything,he reaches out to grab onto Rin's hand in a desperate hold,chopsticks forgotten and clattering to the floor.

And when Rin finally turns to look at him,he seemed to have understand,lips curling up into a small smile and not making any move to retract his hand from Haru's grasp,even though Haru was pretty sure that he was clutching onto it so tightly that bruises would form. Instead,Rin slips his other hand from under the covers of the kotatsu to cover Haru's trembling ones,the warmth of his fingertips slowly calming Haru down.

"It's snowing" he says and Haru just stares at their clutter of hands.

"Yeah,"he replies finally,soft and distracted.He watches Rin's hand,the one within his weakened grasp,shifting around a bit in its position before reaching to interlock fingers with haru's own.

For awhile,they remained silent. And for once,with Rin's hand within his hold feeling warm and solid and alive,his mind doesn't wander.

"Hey",Rin calls out,interrupting the silence that they both share comfortably,but Haru doesn't mind. "you okay?"

Haru tilts his head up to find Rin staring at him,eyes filled with concern and mild hesitance and he looks away again before it gets too much,before he gets lost in those honest eyes of his that always expresses way more emotions than Rin himself thinks,sometimes even betraying his own words—like that time when he had won their race,staring down at Haru and spitting words that Haru doesn't ever want to hear again. He feels his throat tightening. Another unwanted memory.

"I don't know" he replies instead,voice shaking and coming out way weaker than he would like for it to be. But somehow Rin understood,yet again. He always does.

He feels shifting from under the kotatsu and watches Rin leaning over from the corner of his eyes,position a tad awkward from unfinished platters of food and their tangled hands still lying on the table. Rin then gives his hand(the one that's covered)a final squeeze before reaching up to cradle his cheek. Haru leans against the touch,eyes fluttering close as the warmth spreads across his body,from his skin and down to his bones. He feels familiar lips peppering soft kisses all over his face like tracing constellations—from his eyebrows to his temple,nose,cheek and finally,his lips.

"I'll be here,"Rin whispers against his lips when they part and Haru smiles,"always."

And with just those words,the ghosts of his mind dissipates. Somewhere deep down,Haru knows that he's speaking the truth. Maybe he had always knew,but was too afraid to accept. And now, he makes his own silent promise to hold Rin close and never letting go, _always_ ,because he had been allowed to.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was not confusing haha wrote this on a spur


End file.
